


The War is Lost

by Fangodess



Series: The War on My Soul [4]
Category: Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Graphic Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide, There is no fluff, accidental suicide, im so sorry, this is just so angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 10:03:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangodess/pseuds/Fangodess
Summary: This contains what I consider very graphic self harm so please be careful when reading this. I want to say sorry but I'm really not.





	The War is Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Puzzle_with_Infinite_Pieces](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puzzle_with_Infinite_Pieces/gifts), [TinyPlanetExplorer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyPlanetExplorer/gifts).



> This contains what I consider very graphic self harm so please be careful when reading this. I want to say sorry but I'm really not.

LeFou couldn’t sleep he just needed to do it. Just once or twice so it would quiet his mind. Stanley wasn’t there so he didn’t have to worry about him. He slid out of bed and grabbed the blade. He pulled up his sleeve and slowly slid the blade over his wrist but instead of relief nothing happened. He didn’t understand why wasn’t this working. This always worked he began to be unable to breathe suddenly he began to do it more unable to stop, he needed the noise to stop and it wasn’t stopping why wasn’t stopping? He began to feel dizzy he must have done way more than he thought his arms were covered in blood. He couldn’t breathe this had just made it worst in the end. Just as the world began to go black he heard a shriek.  
***  
Mrs. Potts had been up trying to lull Chip back to sleep and was now heading back to her chambers when she heard the sounds of panic coming from Etienne’s room. She opened the door to make sure the boy was ok, she never expected what she would see when she opened the door. She shrieked, she had walked in and the boy was falling to the ground with blood soaking his arms.  
“Etienne. Etienne. Wake up,” she shrieked shaking the boy.  
Her panic must have woken up others in the castle because Cogsworth flung the door open, “Mrs. Potts, what is going on?” he yelled as he entered, “oh my god,” he whispered, “what happened?”  
“I don’t know I just found him falling and he was covered in blood. I don’t know what to do,” she said shakily tears slipping down her face. she felt truly more lost than she ever had.  
“I’m going to get water. We need to clean the cuts and wrap them,” Cogsworth said turning and going to get water immediately slipping into military mode making himself completely numb to make the job easier. Mrs. Potts sat there feeling completely useless not knowing what to do. At this point she was just trying to stop the bleeding.  
Cogsworth came back in with a basin of water, “sit him up and try to keep his arms elevated,” Cogsworth said carefully taking Etienne’s arm and washing it as gently as possible. When he had finished that arm, he took the other one and cleaned it. He gently wrapped his arms once they were clean.  
“The blood is coming really fast and I think that first one might need stiches its really deep but this is good enough for now,” Cogsworth said, “A couple other people in the castle woke up to but I told them to stay outside to keep him from being crowded.”  
“Okay,” Mrs. Potts said still in shock.  
“You should go. You shouldn’t have to stay in here,” Cogsworth said laying a hand on her shoulder.  
“He saved me, did you know that, during the battle. I was falling and I would have smashed into a million pieces and he caught me,” she mumbled barely above a whisper, “What if he dies? What if I can’t save him?”  
“It isn’t up to you to save him,” Cogsworth said.  
“He doesn’t deserve this,” she said shakily.  
“No, he doesn’t. Don’t do this to yourself. Go I can take care of it from here. Send in Lumiere or the master or both,” Cogsworth said.  
“Are you sure? You shouldn’t have to do this either,” she said.  
“Someone has to. Send them in if you can,” he said curtly.  
Mrs. Potts left the room she was immediately surrounded by the castle staff.  
“Cogsworth wants Lumiere and the master to go in the rest of you should stay out here,” she said.  
“Is he ok?” Plumette asked.  
Mrs. Potts took in a shaky breath, “I… I don’t know. We can’t tell yet,” she said shakily.  
“What happened?” Madam Garderobe asks.  
“I’m not entirely sure. I walked in and he was falling to the ground and he was covered in blood,” she said her voice shaking, “I just… I think he did it to himself, intentionally.”  
“What?” Lumiere said quietly from next to Plumette.  
“He might have,” Adam said quietly.  
“How do you…” Mrs. Potts said.  
“The other day I walked in and he had blood all over his arms. I helped him clean it up and he told me he was doing better. Normally Stanley is there for him but he hasn’t been here. I should have watched him closer I knew he was in pain and I didn’t even check on him,” Adam said softly, almost emptily staring into space.  
Belle placed her hand on his arm, “you couldn’t have known what was going to happen,” she said to him softly.  
“Master, we should go in,” Lumiere said.  
“Yes, yes, your right,” he said quietly pushing open the door and entering.  
***  
When Mrs. Potts left the room Cogsworth sank down in the chair next to the bed sighing as he put his head in his hands.  
“What have you done my boy?” he said placing his hand on the man’s arm before him. The door opened and he jumped back up and snapped back into military mode.  
“Don’t do that,” Lumiere said softly, “Don’t shut down like that.”  
“I couldn’t do it if I didn’t. I wouldn’t be able to… I cant… not after” he stuttered walls cracking slightly.  
“It’s ok,” Lumiere said, “He’s strong he’ll be ok.”  
“It’s a lot of blood,” he said looking vacantly at the man.  
“We should clean off his wrists again,” Adam said, “There’s a lot of blood soaking his bandages.”  
“Yeah,” Cogsworth said.  
***  
They were all waiting outside Etienne’s room for any kind of news when they heard the noise of a horse approaching.  
“Stanley’s back,” Maurice, who had been silent until now, said.  
“How can we possibly tell him?” Belle said.  
“I should do it,” Madam Garderobe said, “we have been growing close recently. He will want to hear it from me.”  
“Yes, you should,” Mrs. Potts nodded, “I’m sorry you have too.”  
“I should go before he even gets inside,” she says departing.  
***  
Madam Garderobe met Stanley outside, “Hello, mon ami,” she says to greet him.  
“Madam Garderobe, how nice to see you,” he said slightly disappointed that Etienne wasn’t there to meet him but figured he was busy.  
“There is something we need to talk about,” she said quietly and began to lead him inside.  
“What is wrong, madam?” he asked.  
“it is about your friend, Etienne,” she said.  
“Is he ok?” he said immediately becoming defensive and afraid.  
“Mon ami,” at this point they were close to Etienne’s room so she stopped before he saw the crowd of people outside his room, “He is currently unconscious and bleeding profusely. He did it on purpose. Maybe not with the intention to die but definitely with the intention to cause himself harm.”  
Stanley seemed to crumple and she briefly wondered if he fainted until she realized he hadn’t fallen over he had just sunk to his knees and seemed to stop breathing. Madam Garderobe sat down next to him and pulled him to her.  
“I knew… I knew he wasn’t doing well but he seemed to be better and he begged me to go. I shouldn’t have gone. I could have stopped this,” he said shakily staring blankly ahead.  
“It is not your fault Stanley. You can’t do that. He wouldn’t want you to do that,” she said stroking his hair softly.  
“But I knew… I knew how bad he was. I shouldn’t have gone,” he said.  
“No, don’t do this. You had no idea what was happening,” she said.  
“Can I see him?” he whispers.  
“You don’t have to…” she began.  
“I need to see him,” he said quietly, “please.”  
“Okay, okay lets go,” she said.  
When they got to the door way Stanley immediately froze at the group of people standing outside the door. He slowly opened the door and stepped inside. The site almost made him collapse again. The floor was covered in dried blood and there was Etienne was laying on the bed with blood soaked bandages wrapping his arms. He gasped taking a step forward.  
“Stanley,” Adam said, “I’m sorry.”  
“You didn’t do anything its fine,” he said unable to take his eyes off Etienne in shock.  
“I knew,” he said softly.  
This caused Stanley’s head to snap over to him, “What?” he said breathlessly.  
“I found him a couple nights ago doing it and I should have checked up on him more but I didn’t and I’m so sorry,” he said softly looking down ashamed and near tears a look he never thougt he would see on the prince.  
“It’s not your fault. I’m the one who left him. I knew he wasn’t doing well but I thought he was doing better so I went. I shouldn’t have gone,” Stanley said again slowly walking closer.  
“You can’t blame it on yourself,” Lumiere said.  
“I was supposed to be there for him and I wasn’t. I left him alone and afraid,” Stanley said now kneeling next to Etienne.  
“You are there for him so much. He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself,” Adam said, “I’m the one who started this.”  
“How would you have…” Stanley said confused.  
“Gaston, his death that’s what started all of this. That’s my fault and he was a villain and he deserved it but it’s the reason Etienne felt like this,” Adam says.  
“Gaston deserved what he got. That’s not your fault,” Stanley said.  
“You should go back out because we should clean him up again and you shouldn’t have to see that,” Cogsworth said.  
“I’ve already seen it,” Stanley said.  
“Mon ami, just go. Don’t put yourself through that,” Lumiere said gently laying a hand on his shoulder.  
“Okay. I’ll be outside.  
***  
After about an hour during which Chip had woken up and joined the crowd. All the sudden the door opened and Adam said, “The bleeding won’t stop. He’s not going to wake up.”  
There was a collective gasp. Mrs. Potts began crying and Stanley just suddenly was in shock unable to hear or comprehend anything. At some point people were going in to say good bye. He didn’t know what to do.  
***  
The first to go in to say goodbye was Lumiere and Plumette. They chose to go in together because they knew the other would need support as Lumiere and Etienne had grown close over a love of cooking and Plumette had grown close to the boy over a surprising love of the same bad romance novels that everyone seemed to hate but them.  
"I am told this will most likely be the last time we talk. I can not tell you how much you will be missed. You deserved so much more than this and I’m sorry we could not stop you. You were one of the bravest men I knew. I hope you find happiness in the next life. Au revoir courageux jeune Etienne au revoir, “ Lumiere said sadly stepping back.  
Plumette went next, “I will miss you so much. I should have noticed the change in you. I am sorry I couldn’t protect you,” tears had begun to slip down her face. Lumiere slid a hand around her shoulders and led her out.  
***  
The next to go was Belle and Adam. Belle walked up to his bed first.  
“When we were in the village I thought, you were just another one of them. One of the ones who saw Gaston as a hero, who helped him chase after me even though I clearly did not want him to. I can see now you had no choice, even if you wanted to leave you couldn’t have. I am sorry I ever thought of you as one of them,” she says softly stepping back crying.  
Adam walks up next, “I always saw Gaston as a villain and everything I heard backs that up and even though I still see him as a villain I realize that he wasn’t just a villain he still had friends. I’m sorry I took away your purpose,” Adam stepped away shutting down slowly focusing on comforting Belle and not letting himself think about how much this was his fault.  
***  
Cogsworth went in alone next. As he entered he officially let himself put down his guard and let himself cry. This boy was supposed to prove everyone wrong. Show that loving a man didn’t damn you but now he’s as good as dead.  
“You were supposed to prove everyone wrong. You were supposed to get a happy ending. I am sorry we couldn’t give you that happy ending,” he let out a choked sob before leaving.  
***  
Maurice went in next he shakily knelt next to the bed, “I never liked Gaston. He just always gave me a weird feeling and after his death I rejoiced, everyone did, and I didn’t notice you were hurting. I never blamed you for what happened that night. Right after you lied I blamed it on you but then I was told how he betrayed you and I realized how he would have turned on you and you just did it out of fear. I’m sorry I made you feel guilty,” he got up and solemnly left  
***  
Madam Garderobe was the next to go she offered to go in with Stanley but he said he wanted to go alone, “I never knew you well Etienne but I do know that boy of yours and he’s very in love with you. I fear he will never get over you. I am sorry I won’t be able to protect him.”  
***  
Mrs. Potts and Chip walked in next. Mrs. Potts didn’t want to let Chip in but he had begged so eventually she let him see him one last time.  
“You saved my life and you deserved so much more than this, than how your entire life was, you deserved everything but the world has given you nothing. I am so sorry you had to deal with all of this. I saw you as one of my own and I will mourn you like I would mourn my own son because that is what you have become to me. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you like you saved me,” Mrs. Potts says sobbing.  
Chip walked up next, “Mama says you’re going to die soon. She doesn’t know that I heard the adults talking. They say you did this on purpose. Why would you do that? Why are you leaving us? Did we do something wrong?” he whispered this he didn’t want to worry his mother more than she already was.  
***  
The last to enter was Stanley, “I am the last one to come. I’m not leaving until you take your last breath. So, I’ve never been good with feelings but I am going to try. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember but I figured nothing would ever happen you loved Gaston and that was fine, as long as you were happy, but then Gaston died. I thought maybe I had a chance. Maybe you would actually love me and then you did it was beautiful and hard. You were there and beautiful and let me be who I was and you were just perfect even though you never saw that. You had problems that would inevitably come from losing the love of your life and that was never a problem but I was scared that I was going to lose you. I left you. I left you when I knew you were hurting this is my fault and I am so sorry. I wish I could have done more. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough,” he said softly as he sobbed he stood and placed a final gentle kiss on Etienne’s lips and suddenly his eyes shot open.  
“Etienne, your… your awake.”

**Author's Note:**

> haha i know at least one person who thought he was going to die


End file.
